slow living bedtime rhythm with kids.

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A big part of creating this blog was for my family and myself. There are days when I feel like I'm on a high-speed train and I can’t get off—especially at bedtime. Between running everyone to their extra curriculars, making dinner, managing big emotions, helping with homework, giving kids their baths, juggling a newborn, and getting everyone into bed at a reasonable hour, my life feels like a constant whirlwind. I crave to find some peace, and calm, especially at the end of the day with my kids. I want to connect with each of them, and I know many days I feel defeated or impatient and done. There are going to be nights where crap hits the fan, and I wasn't able to connect with each or any of my children, but I also know I need to give myself a lot of grace.

Life isn't easy.

Motherhood isn't easy.

So, I've been on a journey to find little things to simplify and find a better way. For years I've incorporated hygge in my life but recently discovered slow living. When you search Google it says, "Slow living is a lifestyle that promotes a more mindful, intentional, and present approach to daily life, prioritizing meaningful experiences and connections over efficiency and constant speed. It involves consciously slowing down, doing fewer things but doing them better, and identifying what truly matters to live a balanced, fulfilling life with an emphasis on well-being and quality over quantity." So, these last few months I've been slowing collaborating both ideas, hygge and slow living, and applying these principles in our day-to-day rhythms. It's taken some brainstorming, and lots of patience incorporating these new ideas on how to pause and connect. Lately our biggest struggle is bedtime, so we've been focusing on finding a better rhythm for our family.

Slow living isn’t about doing less for the sake of doing less; it’s about doing things with intention. When applied to bedtime routines with children, it becomes a beautiful way to foster connection, regulate emotions, and ease everyone into rest—yourself included.

The approach is going to look a little different for every family and can shift depending on the different seasons of life, but the general idea on how to cultivate a bedtime slow living rhythm with kids that soothes rather than stresses.

1. Start with a Gentle Wind-Down

Slow living invites us to create transitions between parts of the day. About an hour before bed, begin the shift toward rest. Lower the lights and turn on your lamps. Turn off loud electronics. Maybe have some twinkle lights in their rooms or put on calming music. Give kids a heads-up that bedtime is approaching—not as a threat, but as an invitation or a heads up.

This is not a time for rushing. It’s a time for signaling to the body and mind that it’s safe to soften. We have a list we've created on Spotify that has our favorite slow music and lullaby's we put on their speakers. We also use the kids Yoto mini's, which they have loved and use almost every night. We've collected cards over birthdays and holidays that they switch out. It definitely helps them wind down and relax in bed.

2. Keep the Routine Simple, Yet Sacred

You don’t need an elaborate routine. In fact, simplicity is the goal. Choose 3–5 anchor rituals that feel nurturing and repeat them in the same order most nights. This might include:

A warm bath or shower

Pajamas and brushing teeth

Reading a book aloud

*We usually have a chapter book we're reading through. Currently we're reading our new favorite book, "Snow and Rose".

Gentle massage or applying lotion.

*I usually try and find lotions or sprays that have magnesium, and my kids love it! My kids know that Momma can't do it every night, but I try and intentionally find time here and there to massage their hands and lower arm. Here is our favorite lotion and magnesium spray for our kids.

Saying goodnight with a special phrase or gratitude practice.

*My daughter and I love to say our favorite things about each other.

The repetition is what creates a rhythm. The more familiar the steps, the more secure and soothed children feel.

3. Make Space for Connection, Not Perfection

Some of the most precious conversations with children happen right before sleep—when their defenses are down and their minds are digesting the day. Allow space for questions, for stories, for cuddles.

I have to remind myself frequently slow living at bedtime means letting go of the idea that it has to go “just right.” There may be silliness, emotions, or unexpected moments. Stay present with your child or children, even if the schedule slips or has to change a little bit.

Connection trumps the clock.

What I love about rhythms is its flexibility. Not every night will look exactly the same but each night we're striving and finding more moments of connection, and everyone goes to bed feeling happier and more peaceful.

4. Protect the Feeling/Environment

Our environments teach us how to feel. A cluttered, overstimulating bedroom makes it harder to settle. You don’t need to have the Pinterest picture home to practice slow living, but consider:

Soft, natural lighting (twinkle lights work wonders)

Calming colors and cozy textures/textiles

*My sensory kid loves this sensory sock. It has changed our nights with him!

Reducing unnecessary or overstimulating things

5. Slow Down With Them

I believe kids can feel our energy. If we’re rushing to finish the bedtime routine so we can get back to chores, emails, or scrolling, they sense it. I am so guilty of this. Many nights I'm overstimulated and have met my capacity and want to rush through our routine. Practicing a more intentional bedtime rhythm means you slowing down too. Breathe deeper. Be in the moment. Let it be a time of restoration for you, not just for them. The shift also has to change internally, so I've been focusing on enjoying the moment with each of them and the season we're in. These are the memories that we get to hold forever, not the ones we make with our phones or books or other distractions.

I've found that if I give myself a night or two to enjoy my Netflix binge or just scroll my phone then on those other few nights a week I make them my wind-down time as well during my routine with the kids—dim my own lights, leave my phone outside the room, and give myself permission to be fully there. My husband and I switch off from time to time and other times we're both doing it depending on the season of life. Being intuitive and flexible I find more endurance to be more present with my kids. It's a fine line for me to feel that need to just stretch myself and grow as a mom and being burned out.

Final Thoughts

A slow bedtime rhythm is not about being perfect every night—it’s about reorienting your evenings around presence, peace, and connection. When bedtime becomes less of a battle and more of a ritual, everyone in the family benefits.

And if one night everything falls apart? That’s okay. Slow living is not about rigidity; it’s about grace. Try again tomorrow. Keep choosing calm. Keep choosing connection. Keep choosing slow.

Because in the quiet moments at the end of the day, what your kids will remember most is how you made them feel: safe, loved, and unhurried.